the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
last night I used snow as a chaser
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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