The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Randomize