there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
