Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
