i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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