i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
