thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
