He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
