i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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