I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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