Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
