we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I party with great urgency now.
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