If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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