I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
