Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
