Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think I sprained my soul last night
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
