I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
