4 words: hood of his car
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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