FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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