garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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