I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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