Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
