So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
