And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
