Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize