She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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