My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize