She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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