I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
