just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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