dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
