I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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