Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
