couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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