Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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