Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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