Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
