i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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