i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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