Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
