Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
