I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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