She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
