And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
accomplished twins. life is a go
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
