let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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