Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
