So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
