I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
