conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
