There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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