So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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