Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
