I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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