I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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