I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
