I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
