It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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